America Writing Peer Review 1

Blog by: Victoria Martin. https://victoriamartin.art.blog/2019/08/31/a-narrow-fellow-in-the-grass-remastered/

I really like this poem, Victoria! I think you have really encapsulated the essence of Emily Dickinson! I think this poem is very rich and deep in meaning. I agree with your perspective and honestly think that Dickinson would too! I think in today’s in modern day society with the boom of technology you are completely right to say that some lack character or sense of self because we have become a society so focused on reflecting those we see on social media or being better ‘than’. I think it is also interesting to look at the theme of your poem and think about what our modern day world would look like through the eyes of Emily Dickinson. Considering Dickinson seemed to value human and the perspective of death so heavily as you stated, i think if she were to see our world today with this rise and and addiction to social media she would have even more to say! For your next poem you write, if you choose to do one, i think maybe showing the distinct stanza’s would really add to the effect of your poem! Good job!

September 5, 2019 0

The return of the Sun

I cannot live without you -
Breathing is ever so sour, suddenly.
Sphere in the sky, how you glow like the raven’s eye.
Separation is deprivation of the soul.

The key to my intrinsic door –
How you look straight through me,
Even if you don’t know me anymore –
Change is inevitable - which I know you can see.

Glowing warmth, bright and safe –
You return to me - in my time of need,
You bring the colour back to my hair,
You re-plant me so - like a thriving seed.

Please don’t leave again – old friend.
I need you to stay and light my soul,
I want to bask beneath your golden rays,
And soak you up – entirely and whole.

SIDE NOTE: I hope you all enjoy my poem ‘Return of the Sun’. I have been inspired by the recent golden weather. I hate as the sun descends in the night, which brings the moon out, as I believe (perhaps like Dickinson would) this is when I ponder most about the world and myself as it's quiet as opposed to the day.

As well as existential ideologies, I have also attempted to capture the essence of Emily Dickinson's form. I have tried to incorporate Rhyme, short stanzas, the use of the dash as well as imagery which is inspired to me by Dickinson's poem "I taste a liquor never brewed".

Feature image: The sun and the cycle of life taken from google image https://www.google.com/search?biw=1440&bih=789&tbm=isch&sxsrf=ACYBGNSkG-SXMRr7O4Ltsc0BlvdKxKlDhw%3A1571206484661&sa=1&ei=VLWmXaqCKNq_9QPJi6zwDw&q=the+sun+black+and+white+artwork+&oq=the+sun+black+and+white+artwork+&gs_l=img.3…7572.14581..14818…1.0..0.362.6224.0j14j9j5……0….1..gws-wiz-img…….35i39j0j0i8i30j0i24j0i30.M-n6ju5p3bA&ved=0ahUKEwiq_IujkKDlAhXaX30KHckFC_4Q4dUDCAc&uact=5#imgrc=r_08_T_sd5XaeM:

September 5, 2019 8

The balcony 2

Take any single Australian painting that you saw at the gallery yesterday (it must be one that you saw) and write a description either in poetry or prose. Pay close attention to detail in your description. What you are in fact doing in this exercise is a piece of Ekphrastic Writing. Check up the meaning of this word!

As I shuffle into the white room of displays,
A sight of mighty blue whisks me away. 
  
 There I stand atop of it all, 
 Upon the spiral balcony. 
 Gazing into the deep sea below, 
 White sails slice through its beauty -
 Daring to taint the mighty blue, 
 But they fail to do so miserably. 
  
 By my right side,  
 Floats a splash of dotted green. 
 It lays on a bed of poignant brown, 
 With open arms inviting me in –
 But still no match for the sight I see; 
 The meditative mighty blue. 
  
 To my left stands tall a bridge, 
 So famous in name and looks.  
 It stretches far beyond
 Into a faded fogged city aloof, 
 Yet still no match for that of the mighty blue. 
  
 There is one sight however, 
 That battles for my attention too. 
 A peach-like tree standing still, 
 Daring me to release my naked soul, 
 To the depths of the mighty blue. 
  
 It is right there in that moment, 
 That I come to realise so much more. 
 The power of shape, 
 The power of colour tones, 
 The power of nature. 
  
 A slight chatter snap’s me back,
 And I realise exactly where I am. 
 Staring back into the mighty blue, 
 Into the magic of Brett Whitely, 
 From within the white walls.

Feature image: Brett Whitley’s “Balcony 2” taken from google images. https://www.google.com/search?q=the+balcony+2+brett+whiteley&sxsrf=ACYBGNTfqA-s7mqTx_0TlD5d-NXgXPdasA:1571200958945&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiY-ZzY-5_lAhUMAXIKHe0lAgMQ_AUIEigB&biw=1440&bih=789#imgrc=FVSXMlBzZQa2EM:

September 2, 2019 0

Australian Literature Peer Review 2

Blog by: Courtney Mattick. https://courtneyemattick.art.blog/2019/08/26/week-5-first-class-marksman/

I thought that your interpretation of Ned Kelly was very interesting Courtney! I am particularly interested in how you have perceived Ned’s armour as a form of ‘cape’, symbolically inventing him as a ‘hero’. I agree with this, however I believe that contrast of the black armour against the pale scenery could act as a form of pure identification for Ned himself as his armour is truly iconic. I also like how you have noticed his clothing and highlighted how the sleeves blend with the nature. This made me further think about the identification of Ned and if this could perhaps be a further statement on how the armour does/does not define him? I guess that could be left to interpretation! I think maybe to strengthen your blog you could add some more historical information about Ned himself and how he is perceived to highlight you interpretation of him as a hero. Perhaps you could also talk a little more about the different techniques used and contrasting colours to really back up what you are saying! I really like this blog!

September 2, 2019 0

Australian Literature Peer Review 1

Blog by: Anna Castagnella. https://literaturewithanna.art.blog/category/american-literature/best-blog/

I really like the way in which you have encapsulated what Thoreau means to ‘live deliberately’. I particularly agree with your idea that to live deliberately is to have a ‘hunger to live a life that exceeds societal barriers.’ I think that we are constantly restricting the way in which we live due to societal barriers and this has consequences on our personal growth as human beings; one day it could all end and I don’t think we should be left with the lingering question of whether or not we have grown as much as we possibly can; doubting our own lives. I think you have perfectly encapsulated this by relating it with your real-life experience. Your experience has made me consider my own and what I could be doing to live life with more intent as things happen (like what you unfortunately went through) at any moment of any day. I also like how you have related quotes to your own experience but maybe a little more textual unpacking of these quotes next time could really add to your critical analysis!

August 26, 2019 0

A Tribute to Dame Mary Gilmore

Write a short tribute to Dame Mary Gilmore drawing on any one of her poems (in the Pen Anthology 256-259) to show how important her ideas are to Australians.

Dame Mary Gilmore had an eloquent way with words. She was able to convey extremely important societal issues of her time in an alluring, concise way and to me this is one of the most impressive aspects of Dame Mary Gilmore’s writing that laments her importance to Australians. This is highlighted throughout her poem ‘Eves Song’ as she was able to resonate ideologies of the poor treatment of women during the 19^th century in Australia through her own whimsical way of writing, allowing the poem to still retain meaning to women of today’s society. Dame Mary Gilmore particularly places focus upon the way in which women during this time were subservient to their male-counterpart and were bound to societal expectations of marriage. This can be identified through the repetitive phrase in the poem “I span and eve span”; a biblical allusion which I have interpreted as alluding to the idea that Eve was made purely for Adam’s benefit. Therefore it is necessary and societally expected for women to tend to man. As powerful as the meaning is behind this wonderfully worded statement, it is the way in which Gilmore continues to utilise it throughout her poem in which resonates with me most. The repetition almost reinforces the idea that women always find their way back to this restrictive way of thinking that they are bound to man. It is as if you can see Gilmore’s persistent nature through this very quote; she is passionate and she wants to make it clear to women that they are independent and “that more than man was love and prize”, exemplifying her importance to Australians as this message is still one in which is acknowledged today.

Although we are to commend Dame Mary Gilmore on her writing abilities, her sheer bravery cannot go unsaid. The time in which she wrote did not give women the liberty and free-will to speak their mind, however, Dame Mary Gilmore did exactly that. She is to be acknowledged for this and the message that she so beautifully and strongly articulated through her poem in which is still be appreciated by Australian women today; cementing the importance of Dame Mary Gilmore’s ideologies to Australians.

Feature image: Dame Mary Gilmore taken from google images https://www.google.com/search?biw=1050&bih=585&tbm=isch&sxsrf=ACYBGNTUOLZaKN4MJ2cBuF_Bb4ZoNv_zYw%3A1571201539498&sa=1&ei=A6KmXYKLHsn7rQHKxJzAAg&q=dame+mary+gilmore+&oq=dame+mary+gilmore+&gs_l=img.3..0l3j0i30l2j0i24l5.275203.278391..278639…1.0..0.238.3172.0j14j4……0….1..gws-wiz-img…..8..35i362i39j0i67j0i131j0i8i30.DryM-Yo54Vo&ved=0ahUKEwjCmIft_Z_lAhXJfSsKHUoiBygQ4dUDCAc&uact=5#imgrc=XWPFxz1QsiIW1M:

August 26, 2019 2

The Soul of Pearl Beach

Chose a phrase or a sentence from Emerson’s essay “Nature” that really struck you as being accurate to your own experience of nature. Write a paragraph that captures an experience of nature of your own that supports what you understand to be Emerson’s vision of nature

My entire body began to ring as the final bell shot through me, signalling the end of my high school life. My mind was racing; and it wasn’t long before my legs followed, taking me all the way to the one place that comforts me the most. As I walked through the prickly off-bush trail along the coast-line of pearl beach I found myself hypnotised as the waves bubbled over the sun-kissed formations, rolling in and out, in and out. I stopped for a minute, allowing my asthmatic ridden lungs to absorb the sea air and my breath to fall in time with the slow rolling of the waves. As I continued to walk the trail, memories beyond memories rushed over me. A single arching rock that protruded from the depths of the sand like a weed that had pushed itself through the cracks of concrete, yet so out of place brought me the most- sweetest of memories. I am transported back to my best friends 16^th birthday where a fire crackled beneath the arch of the rock and the stars glistened the water below. It was a peaceful night with nothing but youthful love and hearty laughs. I remember the roar of the waves crashing against the rocks snapping me back into the present time as the sun began to set, emanating perfect brush-strokes of pinks and purples against the portrait of the skies. As I turned to leave this picturesque wonder, a spray-painted eye on an oddly shaped rock captured my attention. It seemed to fit flawlessly into the image that was being painted before me. I took a minute to take this sight in and absorb every part of it before I snapped a picture and walked away; leaving behind me yet another memory and piece of myself for the nature to inhale to play back for me on another day.

Emerson states within his essay ‘Nature: “Who looks upon a river in a meditative hour, and is not reminded of the flux of all things? Throw a stone into a stream, and the circles that propagate themselves are the type of all influence” (ch.IV). This particular part of Emerson’s essay resonated with my experiences as I believe what Emerson is articulating here is that we are a part of nature and nature is a part of each and every one of us. Keeping this concept in mind I think back to that last day of school and wonder why it was that I was drawn to the nature during this monumental moment. Was it because I knew that this place was a part of me? Perhaps I knew that nature would take this memory and hold onto it for me? As I now live in the city, I have become used to the bustling concrete jungle that I now call home, however, it does not make me feel the same emotions as I do when standing on the coast line of pearl beach looking into the horizon. As I think back to that eye staring back at me, I see my own consciousness within it. It is almost as if this eye represents my own third eye as the nature whispers back to me in our own language the memories of my entire youth embedded within every nook and cranny of the natural elements. I believe that Emerson was saying that this is the exact kind of connectedness we should aim to achieve. Nature grabs parts of our soul and latches onto it, keeping it tightly sealed for those moments when we feel drawn to run back to it.

Emerson, Waldo Ralph. “Nature”. American Transcendentalism Web, https://archive.vcu.edu/english/engweb/transcendentalism/authors/emerson/essays/naturetext.html, accessed August 20^th, 2019.

Feature image: Pearl beach – Taken by myself

August 20, 2019 4

The Rink

For Judith Wright the Mountain has its own meaning. Describe a favourite place that has a real meaning for you that you would hate to see destroyed.

There is a therapeutic like drug embedded into the soul of the rink. As I slide across the milky wonderland, gliding like a frog in clear waters, every last minuscule of tension is ridden from my body and absorbed into the ice. I circle mindlessly around and around and around again in a trance; lost in the cool thick air and lingering smell of canteen hot chips. As I loop around, my eyes are drawn up to the deteriorating cladding and thick condensation. I slowly drift my eyes to the run-down canteen and always vacant grandstand; both peeling in paint. The tight, bright blue unlevelled skates attached to me remain uncomfortable and damp, however, do not restrain me from propelling myself through the cold. As I glance around at what would appear to be a sombre wasteland to the naked eye; I find a rich beauty in the stories that it withholds. On my first lap, I think back to the many birthday parties I attended here as a child. The days of never-ending pieces of fairy bread and innocent giggles as we skated into our adolescent years. I think about these years on my second lap. I am brought back to my high school sport days where young love blossoms as couples remain interlocked around the rink and friendships are cemented as you help one another up from the harsh surface of the ice. The ice made these days seem so easy and smooth for an emotional adolescent, keeping our minds clear during what seemed to be such a foggy time. As I skate around for my third and final lap my mind shifts back to the present day. I had grown extremely fond of this beaten down old rink and it saddened me to think this could possibly be my last lap. As I came off the ice I returned my skates, packed my bag and made my way to the exit but not before signing a petition for the future of the ice rink and catching one last glimpse of my childhood. I couldn’t help but feel that if this rink is to go, then a part of me would with it too.

Feature Image: Ice Skating Rink taken from google images https://www.google.com/search?biw=1050&bih=585&tbm=isch&sxsrf=ACYBGNQNC4b_v7VAwsL8DKJtMQlUoMCBHA%3A1571201521211&sa=1&ei=8aGmXcmzDND2rQGPmIGwAw&q=ice+skating+rink&oq=ice+skating+rink&gs_l=img.3..35i39j0i67l2j0l7.15489.15489..16149…0.0..0.174.174.0j1……0….1..gws-wiz-img.7c9wCUe4wns&ved=0ahUKEwiJ8Krk_Z_lAhVQeysKHQ9MADYQ4dUDCAc&uact=5#imgrc=jGWhgtDgWc2lyM:

August 18, 2019 2